What to say (or not say) to a friend who is dying
Thanks for reading—it’s not easy to think about losing a friend, let alone what to say. I’m not thinking today about the pretty picture of sharing precious moments at the bedside of someone who is resting peacefully, knowing she is about to leave as her family waits with her, holding her hand. In this loving scenario, […]
All You Need is Love (but skip the roses)
I’m writing this on the National Day of Loving, aka Show-People-You-Love-Them-By-Spending-Money-on-Them Day, aka Valentine’s Day. How did we get started with this super-capitalist tradition? I assumed that there was a noble Saint Valentine, a high priest of love, tucked somewhere in history. The legends about this dude, however, are murky, and it appears there was […]
Blessing the glad and the sad
Thanksgiving in the US is almost here, the day we sit around the table, hopefully with family and friends, and share with each other what we are grateful for. Usually, it’s the good stuff—what has made us smile or given us joy—the “glads.” But this year, I feel drawn to also give thanks for the […]
Beyond Barbie (What would you say in your speech?)
When I was eight, the girls in my neighborhood loved playing with dolls. I didn’t. I preferred to explore the Connecticut woods and ride around on my Schwinn bicycle. As the girls down the street were unwrapping their first Barbies on a sunny fall day, I cruised the area, wind in my hair, not knowing […]
Traveling off the path of normal
Friendship in a Post-Pandemic world
Did friendship change during the pandemic? It’s hard to say. But I know what changed for me: I don’t take it for granted. During the pandemic, we isolated, pared our face-to-face connections down to a pod, and connected via little boxes on electronic screens. We missed handshakes, leisurely cups of coffee together, and small evening […]
Nine Reasons NOT to Write a Book* (*unless you must)
1. Writing a book takes time—more than you can imagine. Whoever purports: “You can write a book in ten days” (or two months or ten) is inviting you to: Writing a book takes time, so you might want to stop there. If not I’ll give you eight more. 2. Success is never guaranteed. Perhaps if […]
Bringing light into dark
Monday morning, my husband asked me to read a heavily researched article about a small pack of men who had been systematically distorting American media with lies, creating an alternate reality now espoused by many. My response? Not that enlightened. “Can I have my tea first, and would you promise to find me an equivalent […]
Dropping “should” for “I prefer”
Yesterday, I faced a blank blog post without an idea of what to write. No ideas. It was too late in the process to be empty-headed. But I had nada. Hardly a tragedy, And yet, the struggles began. It wasn’t just what was happening—it was my feelings about what was happening. And it wasn’t just the […]
We Don’t Need to Know Before We Go
One of the cool things about artists is that they often start their pieces (and I’m defining artist in the broadest possible way) before they know where they are going. Not all artists perhaps, but the ones I want to emulate—poets, writers, painters, and sand castle-at-the-water’s-edge makers. They may have an intention, a direction but […]
