Expand Your Joy by Listing What You Love

Last week, I mounted my horse for the first time in six weeks. For most equestrians, mounting is second nature—we forget about it and focus on riding. But after hip surgery, swinging a leg over the saddle felt like a momentous, even risky, endeavor.

I asked a friend to accompany me as I approached the mounting block while my trusted “old gray mare” stood still, chewing her lips, seemingly wondering why I was so anxious. Slowly, I pushed myself upward, lifted my leg, then miraculously slid into the saddle. Pure bliss.

The act that had once been a no-brainer became the highlight of my week. The weeks without riding had given me time to reflect on my future with horses. After losing my riding instructor and facing the physical challenges of aging—for both my horse and myself—I wondered if my riding days were behind me. But one thing became clear: I still loved my horse and still wanted to ride her.

Maybe I’d only be able to walk her from the ground. Maybe I’d only ride her slowly in circles. When you’re moved by love, you figure out what can work.

Creating a list

Love does that—it wakes us up, fills our spirits, and gives us hope that we can navigate life’s challenges without denying the pains we carry.

Last month, I returned to an exercise I’ve found helpful: making a list of what I love. The list usually starts with around twenty entries, including the obvious: Steve, my horse, sunsets, Paris…

But as soon as I start writing, my senses awaken, and my mind takes off. Joyful energy propels me. I remember how much my small world fascinates me, how much there is to love. I’m carried away by inspiration as I write:

  • Red-capped mushrooms
  • Smell of grass after warm rain
  • Cedar chips
  • Ripe figs
  • 2nd movement of Beethoven’s Fifth Piano Concerto
  • The last end-of-season raspberries
  • A fallen maple leaf on a cement patio
  • French chansons

Soon, I had fifty items, and I was still going strong.

Allowing myself to notice and record what I love gave me a sense of agency. I was the captain of my ship, steering toward what moves me. What do I find delicious? What music enchants me? What scents make me swoon? What art fills my soul?

I could engage with art or music in new ways. For example, last week I heard a band that blended Swedish folk with American bluegrass (Väsen with Hawktail). Normally, I’m not drawn to fiddle or bluegrass, but with my “what do I love” mindset, I found myself ecstatic listening to them. Who would’ve thought?

No one has to agree with my taste. I can surprise myself.

My husband, for instance, follows his own taste in cars—disregarding what’s considered chic or stylish or brings status to its owner. Steve knows what he loves and is always showing me pictures of vintage cars, ones he used to own, or others he finds fabulous. As someone who wasn’t initially interested in cars, I’ve changed—swept by his passion.

When you are filled with what you love, the world feels abundant, and you naturally want others to share in the wealth of  what they love.

Amplifying joy with discernment, not judgmentalism

I’ve heard judgment criticized as a toxic force, and certainly, judgmentalism can be that way. As a recovering judgment-aholic, I know how harmful it is to think you know what’s best for others. We’re often trained to judge ourselves harshly, then turn that same judgment outward.

Judgment carries a stench, and we’re smelling it a lot these days. Politicians blame their enemies and rant about immigrants. But what do the finger-pointers love? We rarely know. Instead, we hear hollow speeches about what they hate.

Yet, when we use judgment to discern what brings us joy, it becomes a powerful, life-affirming tool. Claiming and enjoying what we love brings us into a state of abundance, where we notice even more. We don’t need others to agree with our preferences. We give them space to explore their own passions.

The world overflows with mystery and treasure, a landscape of possibility filled with beauty and discovery.

Make a List (and Check It Often)

Making a list of what you love is simple and transformative. In less than thirty minutes, it can shift your mood. Yes, the floods are tragic, and yes, that dahlia is breathtaking.

Having a list means you can revisit it on a rainy day, when you might forget what brings you joy.

You can also make a second list (highly recommended) of the people you love.

When we focus on what we love and what enriches our lives, we realize how simple awareness and gratitude hold the power to transform us.

Sometimes, cautiously placing a foot in the stirrup is all it takes to make us sing, “Hallelujah.”

4 thoughts on “Expand Your Joy by Listing What You Love

  1. Sally, Having just lost my wife, the person I loved most in the world, and wondering what I am going to do, how am I going to live my remaining years alone, and be productive, independent, caring. Making a list of what I love is a great first step. Thank you.
    BTW, I’m sure you know but the red-capped mushroom pictured on your post is an amanita muscaria — beautiful, and toxic as hell. Like many things in the wild (and in the not-so-wild), look but do not touch (or especially eat!)
    Thanks for all you do.

    1. Allan, my heart is with you. What a caregiver you have been for all these years. RIP your beautiful wife. And I’m not eating the beautiful mushrooms. (Haven’t seen them yet this year but they are gorgeous!)

  2. Hi Sally,
    I was so happy to hear that after 6 weeks you were actually able to mount your dear horse. How absolutely wonderful! As you heal you will be able to do more and more because you love it so and will find a way. Thank you so much for reminding me to make a list of the things I love. Today I started on it and wrote down 30 things really easily but as the day goes on I keep adding more and more. Thinking about all the things I love make me feel so good inside and hopeful again. These last weeks since my heart surgery have been filled with trying to heal and deal with pain, learning to navigate the medical system, going to doctor appointments, having tests done and it is easy to lose sight of all the things I love about this life. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, it helped me to refocus. Daily, I am filled with gratitude for all the help I have received from my family and friends, I am truly blessed. I am starting to make art again since my surgery and that is something that really feeds my soul. It has been said, that Art Heals and I totally believe that. I have a quote by my desk from Elsie de Wolfe, ” I am going to make everything around me beautiful and that will be my life” I really resonate with that. The sun is out, some of my dahlia’s are still blooming, I just picked some swiss chard and kale from our garden and Tom and I are about to take a beach walk. Thank you for sharing with me and helping me to lift my spirits.
    Warmly,
    Janice

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