From Dread to Delight: A Lesson in Attitude Adjustment
Last weekend, I had the “opportunity” to do something I was looking forward to about as much as a tooth extraction: standing outside our local supermarket selling raffle tickets for our island radio station.
Don’t get me wrong—I love our “Voice of Vashon” station. As a radio show host, I not only have an opportunity to create and produce a show I care about, but I “get to” support the fundraising for our largely volunteer-run station.
For shy, introverted me (did I mention I hate rejection?), the prospect of standing outside asking strangers for money for two and a half hours had my stomach in knots.
I needed an attitude adjustment. A major reframe. Dread is not a good look on anyone—especially when you’re trying to be engaging.
Unlike Peter Pan, I’ve never managed to fly just by “thinking happy thoughts.” I needed something more grounded—something real—to help shift my perspective.
A boost from AI
So I turned to AI.
Yes, I know AI isn’t perfect. It’s not a divine source, my best friend, or a stand-in for human wisdom. And yes, it brings with it a host of uncharted consequences.
But that day, I didn’t have a friend or coach handy. I needed help, so I asked ChatGPT how I might reframe my approach to fundraising.
Amazingly, it responded like a kind older sibling who gets what you’re up against and wants to help.
Nothing it said was revolutionary. I probably could have given the same advice to one of my coaching clients. But isn’t that how it often is? We’re wise about other people’s predicaments but blind to our own.
And ChatGPT wasn’t invested in whether I took its advice. I could pick and choose from its suggestions—no judgment.
It offered this:
- Focus on connecting with people, not selling tickets. → Check.
- Remember your love of the station and share that joy. → OK, yes.
- Offer people the chance to win a generous shopping spree. → Good point.
- Treat the experience as a creative opportunity—a chance for curiosity, improvisation, and “social art.” → Now we’re talking.
That last idea lit me up. I could channel my inner improv player, practicing “Yes, and…” with each passerby. Or be the artist, noticing how many shades of green people were wearing. Or act as a social observer. Or just enjoy playing.
And just like that—with a five-minute mindset tune-up—the dreaded task began to feel like an adventure.
Reframing Isn’t Pretending
This wasn’t about playing Pollyanna or pretending everything was easy.
It was about choosing my focus.
Even the most uncomfortable situation is multifaceted. There’s almost always something positive to notice or appreciate.
I didn’t pretend that my fear of rejection vanished (it didn’t). Or that everyone I spoke to was eager to contribute (they weren’t—many rushed by, ignored me, or said “No, thanks”).
But I did get to enjoy warm exchanges with friends and moments of genuine connection with strangers. (And, I also brought in some good money for the station!)
What the Research Suggests
Psychologist Christian Waugh at Wake Forest University studied how people manage their emotions in stressful situations. His team found that focusing on the positive elements within a challenging context—not denying the hard stuff, but noticing what’s still good—can lead to more resilience and emotional balance.
“Because these stresses are complex, they’re heterogeneous,” Waugh says. “Even if they’re super negative, positive things can still happen. Another way to feel better is not to change the meaning of anything, but to zero in on the positive element and focus on that.” [As cited in a Greater Good post from UC Berkeley.}
That was true for me.
Experience: Still the Best Teacher
Of all the reframes ChatGPT offered, the one about connection turned out to be the most powerful.
Here’s what I learned:
- Selling tickets wasn’t awful.
- People on the island are easy to talk to and often generous.
- It was actually fun to connect.
I’m still not eager to sell tickets—but I know I can do it. And no, it’s not like having my tooth pulled.
Practicing the Art of Adjustment
Reframing doesn’t require us to deny difficulty—especially in a world that feels so full of it. When so much is out of my control, it’s tempting to go numb.
But I don’t want that.
Instead, I want to stay awake. To see life as a creative adventure. To use the power I do have to shift my view—and sometimes, shift my experience along with it.
When I can hold the complexity of what’s hard and still find hope, possibility, or even playfulness—then life becomes a better teacher.
And I become a better student.
Question for you: Where do you want to reframe a situation, or adjust from dread to delight? I’d love your thoughts in the comments. (Open to all!)
