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Time to shout “no” to misogyny

I wish it were easy to just say no to a force that has been weighing us down for centuries—affecting our bodies as well as our brains and infesting our social and political systems.

In case you need a refresher on blatantly evil signs or misogyny (I know you don’t), they include:

  • Perpetrating violence against women.
  • Depriving women of their emotional, physical, financial, and reproductive rights.
  • Slandering women.
  • Bragging about an abusive relationship with women’s private parts.

What’s not as obvious (But also deserves a “HELL, NO”) is how female leaders and political candidates are evaluated and written about. For example, how often have you seen male candidates assessed on:

  • How thin or curvaceous they are.
  • Their hairstyle, hair color, make-up, or outfits.
  • What a good parent they were/are.
  • Whether their friends and employees like/d them.
  • How pleasing their voice is.
  • Whether they are tough enough to do the job.
  • How their hormones may influence their performance.

The US Presidential elections of 2016 were a feeding fest for misogynists, who flew about like hornets stinging us through the airways.

They are preparing their attacks now.

We have to call misogynist commentary for what it is—for the sake of all of us, not just the female candidates most directly affected.

And no one, given our culture, is likely to be entirely free of misogyny because it travels like a virus through the air we breathe. (Note to self: Did I ever worry about what male candidates were wearing?)

Personal story

You don’t have to be a card-carrying women’s libber (a derogatory misogynistic term for women speaking up for their innate rights) to experience the wounds misogyny causes. (You don’t even have to be a woman or a gender-identified person, but that’s another story.)

Through my recent physical therapy with a pelvic health specialist, I’ve learned that we carry the wounds of centuries of abuse in our bodies—down to the level of the muscles, tissues, and fascia.

Twenty-plus years ago, psychiatrist Dr. Barry Grosskopf, began asking patients, “Tell me about your grandparents.” He was identifying what is now called “Intergenerational trauma” and how the pains and trauma of the past are often passed down through generations.

When you think about how women have been 1) disregarded, 2) abused, 3) violated, 4) shamed for speaking up, and 5) imprisoned or burned, that’s a lot of historical trauma flowing into present generations—and future ones.

Trauma in the body doesn’t automatically disappear when we tell our minds that things have changed. Healing the trauma lodged in the body is a long, delicate process.

For many women, whether or not we have been personally violated, seeing a candidate/s who flaunts the violation of women is retraumatizing. The memories we carry in our cells, from our personal experiences or those of our ancestors, start screaming inside of us.

No wonder it feels scary (and wonderful) to see a woman running for President. Attacks on her can open deep-seated wounds. (And Kamala Harris will also face misogyny’s evil cousin—racism.) 

Fortunately, we can begin to heal—through somatic and trauma therapy, counseling, good relationships, or fortunate circumstances, and by refusing to let our voices be silenced.

Not just for women

This isn’t just about supporting women; it’s a stance for a way of being in the world that’s critical for the planet.

It goes beyond any one political election—although the crazy US Presidential Elections highlight how much misogyny, (and racism) live on.

To my friends of all genders, I ask, Let’s not just say no to misogyny and racism; let’s SCREAM no.

It’s that important.

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